He loved me, you loved him, and I ADORE all of you!

Greg was working some kind of magic this past week from somewhere out there. 

Let me back up a little. I have big hopes and dreams for my first classroom after 3 years of language intervention, but what I don't have is the materials to make those dreams come true. That's where my lovely family, friends, and fine folks came rushing in like the educational cavalry. A lot of you I'm lucky enough to have in my life because of Greg, and you honor him with your contributions. Some of you never met my dad, but if you like me then you'd love him, because he's a huge part of how I became the person and educator that I am- so you're honoring him too. If I accidentally overlooked you, or if you were called to this blog for another reason, you can see what I'm talking about here:
http://www.donorschoose.org/we-teach/1025908?active=true

When I moved to New York to follow my bliss at 21 years old, I have such a strong memory of my dad taking me to buy my first real suit. "For job interviews," he said, "so you can look as good as you feel." The past couple of weeks have been bittersweet as I've imagined how he would have supported me in this new phase of my career. When I was checking my address book to send the email asking for help in my classroom, my heart gave a stutter-stop at Greg's name. I still can't bring myself to delete his address.

The universe has sent me some hard knocks the past couple years, but every time I think I'm drowning, another wave of love washes me ashore. Sometimes it feels like teaching is all that's held me together at the roughest times. I am so grateful for this job, and I am so grateful to all of YOU!

My students & I look forward to making you proud, and taking pride in ourselves on this amazing journey. Thank you so much again for the outpouring of funds, well-wishes, and encouragement. Somewhere out there, an Irish pops is sending an elbow to the head.

And time goes marching on....

Happy Birthday, Greg Suddeth- today you would be 58 years old. On your birthday in 2008, we were sitting around the table outside when I got my very first job as a teacher. You were very proud and not at all surprised. This year for your birthday, I got another gift. After 3 rewarding, challenging, and wonderful years as a reading intervention specialist, this year I'll be teaching 4th grade in my very own classroom. I know that once again you're proud, and not at all surprised.

Some days I'm okay, and other days I still feel utterly lost. It never helps to say "My situation could be so much worse," because it could also be so much better. I can't look around and say "There but for the grace of God go I...." because someone somewhere with her dad by her side is saying that very thing about me. A smart guy once told me, "It is what it is, and it will be what it will be." He was even able to say it about his own impending exit from the world. Now I need to start living by the same words.

It's so hard to accept what I never want to accept, to be courageous when I feel cowardly, to be wise when I feel like a fool. But Daddy, I'm trying.

Happy Birthday Greg, and I love you.